Summer. The Season of MOVING...
From the moving professionals* at THE ONION.COM... here are some tips to make your next move as smooth as possible:
• To avoid breakage, glass items should be melted down, then re-blown after moving into your new home.
• Six weeks before moving day, fill one small box with books, seal it tightly, and write “books” on top in permanent marker. Then do nothing more until the day before your move.
• Get a jump on things by canceling electricity and water service several weeks before moving.
• Let professional movers take care of large, heavy items such as furniture and your lazy husband.
• Boxes are an unnecessary expense. Place all possessions in the truck and fill to top with packing peanuts.
• After relocating to your new home, remember that you are legally obligated to go door-to-door informing your new neighbors that you were kicked out of your old city for arson.
(* note that any reference to moving professionals at theonion.com is complete and utter BS but thanks for reading!)